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Tuesday February 15, 2000 My name is Brian and I'm a twenty-nine year old homeless person here in San Rafael, California. I am not a Marin native: I was raised in Oakland, attended college at Cal. State Hayward and resided in Contra Costa County. The reason why I became homeless is that I lost my job and residence due to alcoholism. The first weeks of May 1999 I spent in a detox in Concord where I arranged to get a spot at the New Beginnings shelter on Hamilton Air Force Base in Novato. On May 6, I came from the East Bay and stayed there a week before I got kicked out for drinking. After reapplying, I was kicked out a second time for drinking and thus began my homeless status. Since last May I've slept in seven different campsites near downtown San Rafael, moving because of police raids, worsening weather, hostile neighbors, or undesirable conditions. I've been assaulted by people I had considered friends, harassed by police (i.e. tickets and jailtime), taken to hospitals and psychiatric wards, and generally ostracized by "society". For me it's a constant struggle against the elements, depression, boredom, paranoia, and hunger. I do not lead a happy, fulfilling life. When a bit of joy does come through, it is fleeting and overwhelmed by negative feelings. Alcohol helps kill the pain. Friendship and intimacy are extremely difficult to attain. I have a small group of about a dozen homeless and near homeless people I consider friends. Homelessness has taught me to be resourceful, self-reliant and very cautious. I've found that the resources here in San Rafael like St. Vincent's Dining Room, Ritter House, the Homeless Chaplaincy and Salvation Army are a great help. Food, clothing, showers, laundry, "field trips", medical attention and spiritual help are all readily available if you know where to go and who to talk to. Those who work with the homeless at these places do a wonderful service for us; it almost makes life in a tent on a hill tolerable. I hope I have been able to effectively convey a taste of what it's like to be without a home in Marin County.
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